just wanted to share with you guys my life some stuff ive reflected during crux about the past 2 years (its wordy.. just skip to the reflection part if you want)
when i was young , so veeryy young
So actually, i was born in a christian family , and i stayed in china for a few years when i was younger .My mom didnt force me to go church or anything so at that time , i dont think i went to church or anything , i cant really remember ... but at that point i really didnt know about god or anything. GOD was completely foreign to me.
so as a child, i didnt go for bible study nor did i go for sunday school.so i was completely blank
Primary School
When i came back during my primary school years,i went to another church's children ministry and i didn't know anyone there, or knew anything they were talking about. because of that, i actually thought that church was so boring and i didnt like it, or even wanted to go.I didnt even BELIEVE it. I would take any opportunity not to go to church.
Secondary school
When i was in secondary school,my mom wanted me to go to church for some reasons .my church didnt have a youth service so i went to the adult service with my parents (my brother moved to westly church with his friends),there, i felt completely out of place . i just didnt like it , i couldnt relate, couldnt understand.It just felt so annoying, moreover i was being forced to go.
At that point i completely drifted away from god, i wouldnt go to church or anything. i would just believe in myself and myself alone. there was no god to me.
Then came my upper secondary school life, which was filled with struggles and lots of tears .
At that point of time i was really struggling with school work and i felt so stressed up.my grades were becoming lower and i completely did not know what to do.
My mom realised that that church wasnt really helping me nor did i felt anything from it. so we went to lighthouse(around 2nd 1/2 of the year?),hearing the service there was actually very good. there we met joel (we knew him last time when our family went to china i think ) and he invited me to cell and speedlight.It was there did i really started to know about christ and started believing in god.
And then there was 2011 . N level year. Because of last year, i felt i really needed to listen more in class and such. in that year, many things happened . and even though they did, i was able to carry on without much of a struggle (thank god, will elaborate later).
The reflection
Crux was my first church camp that i attended and i thought that it was a really good journey.It really made me reflect on my past years and how my relation with god was. During the camp i think i could really feel his pressence and i felt a lot lighter. previously i was just carry everything myself , but during and after the camp, i felt so much more free.
During the sharing, i also realised that god had really blessed me throughout the years , even when i didnt believe in him.
its just so amazing,how god was willing to wait for me,even if its a few years, and that , he never forsake me.
so i want to thank him for
- Waiting for me, even though i had forsaken him for so long.
- Guiding me along when i didnt believe in him
- Showing me i didnt have to walk alone anymore
- Wanting to save me
- Showing me more about myself through experiences ( eg how i was overconfident in s3 and made my results drop like crazy --> until 2nd half of the year )
- Strengthening me in those experiences
- Overcoming the struggles (esp s4 when i had to redo half my dnt journal after half a year)
- Blessing me with good N level results i wouldnt think was possible (all glory to god )
- My dad who was diagnosed with diabetes last year, and is doing pretty well now
- My family
- My friends
- a lot a lot more
And of course... You guys! >:D
and i wanted to say , if you really cant feel God's pressence and is spirtually dry that -
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
After so many years , He never forsake me, and he wont forsake you !
Praise the lord
-Roxanne
Labels: GOD FTW, praise Him forever, TO GOD BE THE GLORY
Hey Cell ! :D
As 2011 has ended , it's been a great year !
Let's look at what we had done in the past year :>
2011
Jan - Chalet!!!
We had Night Cycling , BBQ , Awesome Games , bonding together.
Thank God that he has watch over us all !
March - Lisa's Birthday !
One year older , 17th haha no more sweet 16th.
Went to "The Cafe Cartel " for Celebration .
PS: too bad i wasn't there , sick ):.
March - Fiona's Farewell >:
Remember that we were at her house's lobby
Each holding on to a Letter that says " WE LOVE YOU FIONA "
After that we went to the coffee-shop to Lunch
Something Singaporean as she would miss it!
We had our "Last Meal" together , It was Burger King(takeaway)
Went to Viewing Area to Nom nom nom.
Made her a "Card Book" for her to read (Y) Cell mates are the best.
April - Roland's Birthday
It was after Good Friday , I didn't expected you guys to celebrate my
Birthday really. Esther bought a Chocolate Cake(dislikes chocolates)
But nevermind what matter is the Heart!
Thank you Cell (:
May - Fiona's Demand haha! :>
She posted on facebook saying , she want's chalet when i come back haha!
June - Ducky M n J's birthday . The twins haha.
Remember that cell waited for them at thy Tabernacle
For the Prayer meeting to end.
Gave them a surprise when they came out (:
July - LOVE SG
When Muggers come together they mug right? haha.
Cell went to SMU to study , but end up playing!
They made a photo for LOVE SG too (:
Aug - Marcus Seah's Birthday ALSO National Day.
Made Birthday Card , done by each n everyone of the cell :D
Aug - New Family member!! Elizabeth Low :>
Melody's Primary school friend !(10years n counting)
Altho we didn't met for long she enjoys the time spend with us :>
We love you too ! heh..
Aug - Jem Jem Birthday
It was still early but we celebrated his birthday together ! :D
Aug - Hammer's Birthday ! (Hannah)
She just came out of the washroom , walk over into the crowd with a surprise.
A birthday song was Sang , a Cake pop out :D
Happy birthday Hannah!
Sept - Fiona Came back for 3weeks!!
Cell went to Changi Beach to Lepak Lepak!
Played games , took sunset group photos :D
Oct - CELL BLOG ALIVE AGAIN !
Thanks Marcus Quek for thy Effort made !
Oct - Hannah , Alena , HuiMei , Roxanne
O level N level , They waited for it n it's here.
God Blessed them (:
Oct - Melody's n ZhengDong's Birthday Celebration.
Changi Village for Food :D
Went to Changi Beach to sit down , chit chat :D
Love the Sharing we done man .. (:
Nov - Carmen's Birthday
Celebrated her Birthday at Church , Birthday Cake n Cards!
Nov - Marina Bay Outing with CELL.
It was a secret that WeiXiong didn't wanna tell us where his taking us.
So we Train to Town , Split into 2 groups .
One went to get StarBucks , the other get FooD!
Then we meet up again at Marina Bay , Sit down n Lepak !
Enjoy taking some time off from the Stress of Life. HAHA
Then we went into MBS , The Noose LIVE was there .
Walked around taking photos (:
Then we Head out to have another walk around MBS .
Photos with Reindeer , the water platform .
Some Super models photo Session? HAHAHAHHA!!
Dec - Camp Unify / Crux
I really enjoyed myself at Crux , i'm sure you guys do too.
Can't wait for the Next year's Camp !!
Dec - Christmas !
Drama @LET , Story about Hazel .
After we went T1 for Late lunch
Then we was thinking of what to do next .
Some wanted Airport , Movie n etc.
End up we went to watch "Sherlock Holmes" Awesome show 5/5 stars !
Then most of us were tired so we went home.
But some wanted to lepak awhile , so we went to Koi/Askimo
What a fun Day , not neglecting the Present , cards n candys.
Christmas is about our God (:
Dec2011-Jan2012 -Cell's Chalet!
Tho some can't be able to come due to school work.
We all had fun yeah?
Awesome Night cycling , went to the viewing area .
No serious Injuries , Thank God for that! :>
Then we had Captains Ball . My Team Lost , but it was FUN!!!
Soon weixiong came , we were all super tired .
When he said "lets go Changi village"
I was thinking of going back to sleep already haha.
End up we went to some CoffeeShop to have supper.
The Next day everyone woke up around 11am ?
Breakfast was served :D
Then we had Melody's lesson - What are your treasure? :D
After BBQ! We started from 3:30pm till like 4am? haha.
Thanks weixiong for ordering MORE than enough food !
Sheryl , Felicia , ZhengDong Drop by even tho they are busy haha :>
It was an Awesome Chalet
God has watch over us all . (:
Also a Great Start of the New Year !
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !
PS: There's more but i couldn't find pictures / remember :X
-hannah
Date: 30th December 2011 - 1st January 2012
Venue: Costa Sands Resort (Downtown East)
DAY 1:
1pm: Meet for lunch @ Downtown East
2.30pm: Check-in
3.30pm: Captain's ball
5.30pm: Dinner (Picnic by the beach)
7.30pm: P&W + Lesson + Prayer
9.30pm: Night Cycling
DAY 2:
7.30am: Wake up + Wash up
8am: Drink Milo
8.15am: Morning worship + Devotion
9am: Morning jog
10am: Breakfast
11am: P&W + Lesson + Prayer
1pm: Free & Easy (Taboo/SPUD/Charades/Ultimate Ninja?) + Light lunch
5pm: Start Fire for BBQ
(Thanksgiving for 2011 & New Year resolutions for 2012)
DAY 3:
7.30am: Wake up
8am: Morning worship + devotion
9am: Breakfast
10am: Pack up
10.30am: Check out
(Go for Speedlight!)
Things to take note:
1. This is just a tentative plan, please feel free to share any suggestions/ideas (:
2. Joel will be notifying the 2 lucky persons who will be delivering the lesson soon! (To start preparing early)
3. Please confirm your attendance with Marcus Seah ASAP, we have yet to repay Lisa for the booking fee. (Those who don't confirm soon, we will just include you & force you to pay regardless of whether you turn up, hehe D<)
Godliness in the Last Days
1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.
Like what Wei Xiong has been reinforcing during cell group, let us remember to constantly keep the cell & each other in prayer, that we will remain Godly & united in Christ in these last days! & continue encouraging each other :D
Consuming fire fan into flame,
A passion for Your Name,
Spirit of God fall in this place,
Lord have Your way,
Lord have Your way with us-Melody
Hey guys! I've drafted this post twice because it was too long and i was worried it might actually bore you guys. So this is the summarised form of my original post :)
So how's your 2011 been? Can you guys believe we're coming to 2012 soon?!?! Like omg time really flies huh.. Anyway i want to tell you guys about my year! This year has been a really tough one for me. But this year was the year that i really grew closer with God and really let go of my worries and leave everything to God. This was also the year i discovered who mattered to me, and who didn't. This was also the year i realised exactly how fortunate and blessed i am to have such a wonderful people around me.
Here's a little background knowledge of me for the benefit of those who don't know. I have two older brothers, 27 and 28 years old. And since I'm the youngest plus am the only girl, my parents and basically everyone doted on me a lot. Whatever i wanted, i received. I never really had to fight or do anything in life because everyone else will just do it for me. You know how parents are supposed to support their child when they fall? Well, i don't think i ever fell because everyone was there 24/7 that i don't even have the chance to experience failure. That was until 10 January 2011 when i received my O level results...
For those of you guys who don't know/confused as to why i retook my O levels, I'll clear this doubt once and for all. I got d7 for both my e math and combined science. Oh i graduated from Greenview Secondary in 2010. I failed the subjects i wasn't supposed to fail at all because it's considered as important subjects in Singapore's education system. But most importantly, i failed my parents, my teachers and those who believed in me. I have always been the one that didn't want to disappoint anyone, and I've disappointed those that mattered the most to me. When i received the results that day, i didn't cry. I guess i thought that crying wouldn't make any difference so i decided to move on.
Fast forward to a week later~ I decided to retake my O levels this year. Yeah, me facing the exams all alone by myself. And then.. the thought of telling my friends, relatives around me was just horrible. I mean, it's usually the normal routine to take o levels and then proceed to a jc/poly and not retake it again. I think what hurt me the most was that i disappointed my dad so much that he was literally speechless that he didn't scold me at all. In fact, no one in my family scolded me. At that point I'd rather they scream and shout at me, or even chase me out of the house. But they didn't, they showered me with love and concern instead which made me feel even more guilty for not studying hard enough last year.
"Eh you go to what school ah?"
"Er... I'm retaking my os...."
"Huh? Why?!"
"I failed my math and science..."
Yup, i had to go through this exact convo for at least 20 to 30 times. And every time my chest would just get so tight that i could hardly breathe. Usually, i love to meet new people.. but i hated meeting new people because i know that i have to tell them about this. And then.. i got used to it. It didn't bother me as much as it did mainly because my past is not equivalent to my future, but it still bugged me a little when i have to tell people this.
I didn't really care about what people said about because they don't know my story and i guess I was misunderstood somehow? Back in secondary school, i wasn't considered a bad student. I went to school on time, followed school rules, didn't make any of my teachers cry, did my homework. I was actually not a bad student. I guess i was too lazy and when i decided to really work hard for the O levels last year, i was too late. And i wasn't entirely focused because of.... a boy. I have to admit it wasn't his fault that i didn't do well, no one is to blame except me for my failures. I was focused yet distracted i suppose? Text msges will be sent at least 10 times per hour with me smiling like an idiot after sending my msg. And you know what? I actually knew that i didn't have a future with this boy and yet i decided to go for it. I was practically digging my own grave at that time. Ah puppy love~ (i hope you guys won't change your perspective of me once you all know about this)
After my exams this year, i discovered that not only was i distracted, i forgot someone that's really important in my life. God. Honestly, during that period i didn't go to church, didn't pray at all. I wanted to just depend on myself and i guess that's where i went wrong? So guys, we are literally nothing without God. I learned it the hard way, and you know what, i thank God for putting me through this tough year because he knew that i would come through with it :)
Gosh this is so long, i hope you guys aren't bored!
Why is it a tough year? Because i had to watch my friends move on to different institutes, make new friends, learn new things while i was just stuck in 2010(not literally); studying for my O levels. No teachers to scold me when i didn't do my work, no teachers to grade my assignments. One pillar of support was gone. And i had to watch my parents' faces when their friends asked where i was schooling and etc. Simply heartbreaking. Which parent doesn't want their child to move forward in their education? It wasn't their fault that i didn't do well, it was mine and i didn't want them to shoulder the "blame" for my results because it wasn't fair at all. I didn't care about what others think about me, i cared more about my parents feelings more than anything else.
I never had a chance to experience failure. So when it did, it hit me really hard. Many times this year, i just simply refused to talk to God. I guess i was angry with him? You know those shows that we watch on tv, when the girl is angry with her boyfriend and refuses to talk to him and he is just there for her even though she's furious? Yeah, that's how i felt.
I can't say that this year was a bad year, because it's not. This year has been a training year for me~ I matured a lot spiritually and emotionally! Usually I'm every one's xiao mei mei, i still am but I'm more sensible, independent and stronger now :) Now, if any problem was to come my way, i'll be like "Oh please, my God is bigger than you can?"
Plus, i found out who really cares about me and i wouldn't have known if i wasn't going through this difficult stage in my life. Because true friends will stay by your side during your toughest moments right? Honestly, before that i felt that everyone was fine without me and my presence was no longer needed. But my clique showed up 1 day before my first paper to give me a "fun pack" filled with lots of tidbits and fruits, so i was really glad that they remembered. And of course you guys who msged and asked about my papers. I really am grateful for all your prayers :) Thank you guys so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 Especially to Hui Mei, Melody and Felicia. Thank you girls for your concern<3
Have a blessed week you guys!!!! :) And remember that God is always there. God is like a ninja you know, he works in ways you cannot see ^^ Ok... it sounds kinda strange.. But you get the point right?! Hahaha! God bless!! <3 Love you all :D
Alena :)
Something interesting i read:
" Churches often have a nebulous figure called God the Father -- and it appears He has nothing to do. The Son does it all. The Father is among the jobless, a distant unemployed figure. This is not what the bible teaches, but it's often how churches present Him.some food for the thought. Do we view God the Father in this way? He was the one who sent Jesus to die for us, so that the veil would be torn and would could indulge in a deeper relationship with our Father in heaven.
Sometimes the Father is represented as a malevolent figure. He is angry at humanity over its sin, but the Son has been able to appease His outrage by dying a cruel death. The Father ends up appearing to be threatening and dangerous, as if the Son and the Spirit have to restrain Him from going on a binge of destruction. But whether He is completely nebulous or dangerously angry, He is not involved. And this view creates a very monumental problem."
I know some of us are burned out. Dont give up the race and continue to strive for God's glory. My dear brothers and sisters, you are not alone in this.
in His love,
Marcus Jairus.
Intentionally Conveying a Message to God
So I chose the words: Prayer is intentionally conveying a message to God. And that prayer can be at least five different kinds of message:
- You can ask for something—this is the most basic meaning of prayer, and God delights for his children to ask him for help. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).
- You can praise him or marvel at him or give expression to your adoration of him. “Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable” (Psalm 145:2-3).
- You can thank him for his gifts and his acts (which is not the same as praising him for his nature). “We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty, who is and who was, for you have taken your great power and begun to reign” (Revelation 11:17).
- You can confess your sins and tell the Lord that you are sorry. “I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin” (Psalm 32:5).
- And finally, you can complain to the Lord. “With my voice I cry out to the Lord. . . . I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him” (Psalm 142:1-2). Now here, again, language frustrates. So are you saying, Pastor John, that it is good to have a complaining heart toward God? No. Philippians 2:14: “Do all things without grumbling or questioning.” It’s not good to have a complaining heart. The heart should trust God in all his sweet and bitter providences. So why then do you say we should complain to the Lord? Because sometimes our hearts do complain about the circumstances God has given us, even though our hearts shouldn’t do this, and it is better to consciously direct it toward the Lord than to think he doesn’t see it. Acting like you are not complaining is hypocrisy and will make you a very phony, shallow, plastic person in the end.
So prayer is intentionally conveying a message to God. And that message may be asking for something, praising God for something about him, thanking him for some gift, confessing your sins to him, or complaining to him.
==================================================================
let's make our prayers intentional!
Well, in my class, there is this girl who is socially awkward. And because the other class informed our Personal Tutor about this little situation, the class leader had to make her feel welcome. But in my opinion, she and us (the class) were on different wavelengths. We were just very different people from different sides of the world. Then, I saw that my classmates went all out of the way to make her feel comfortable. And I felt that is was unnecessary because if she will feel out of place, and if we wanted to make her feel comfortable, we had to somewhat put on a front, which was tiring and not worth while.
I think this will be the second time that I am posting something up onto the cell blog. Have been really busy with my school and other stuff. Today, I have the urge to read up some of the messages online, in which I found one of the messages really meaningful to everyone of us.
In life, everyone is bound to be disappointed at a certain time frame. Some which can be easily forgotten while some might be etched deep in our hearts. These had therefore become a stumbling block in our life which prevented us from moving forward as we keep holding on to them instead of leaving them unto God.
According to the story of Cain and Abel, we all know that both of them are the son of Adam and Eve. Like every other siblings, they loved each other despite occasional fights. Cain got angry at Abel, thinking that God preferred Abel as Abel's offering was completely burnt up on the altar but his just smouldered a bit. Anger aroused, Cain killed Abel. In Genesis 4:8 "Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him".
Knowing that the acceptance of worship depends on the heart of the worshiper - Cain's heart was wrong; Abel's heart was right.
Adam and Eve would have been devastated. In Genesis 4:25, "God has appointed another seed unto us." So, even if we are at our lowest peak and lost of hope, God always has another option for us and that will be one in which He thinks it will be best for us. God has already plan everything ahead even before the event occurs and that Him appointing another seed and doing something new in our life.
From the word 'seed', we know that it will grow into a beautiful flower in the future. Likewise, God planting another seed in our life would mean that our future will be even better than before. This would only happen if we let go of the past such as our disappointments, angers, etc. and just keep moving forward.
God has another seed plan for us!
The future will be brighter than the past!
[Post Motivated By Joel Osteen]
Hope those who are feeling down or have something etched deep in the heart for a long time, be motivated by this as God has another plan for us. Another seed..
Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."
Cheers! (^.^)
-Carmen
"At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life."
-Titus 3:3-7
Again, Daniel 9:18 is reinforced. Not because of our righteousness but because of His mercy.
Failing to acknowledge this is PRIDE.
Pride: Claiming authorship for something we do not deserve. (Kenny's sermon on Healing of Pride)
Moreover, it is important to acknowledge this in order to have "doubt that comes from ingratitude: by knowing that you're a sinner and in need of grace." (Kenny's sermon on Questioning God)
We should have the same attitude as that of Pastor Edmund Chan:
"When I reflect upon my own life, I gratefully see God's redemptive signature on it too. In spite of my pride and prejudice. In spite of my dirt and darkness. I discover it is not so much my story, as it is His story. A story of God's gracious redemption of my life."
-Cultivating Your Inner Life, Chapter 1 My Inner-Life Pilgrimage.
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
-Mel
Been long time since I've really been really really close to God(cause i keep never come) but i know he is always around me guiding me and showing me the way. The previous week I have forgotten him at times and yet he still shows me his love and mercy is unending.
Yesterday i practically went for the New Balance Run for 10km. Totally unprepared because haven't been training or running much. But i made a short prayer that i would survive and i did. I know this may seem small but its the small things that reminds me of his love and grace and protection that is with me. Even though i had a few blisters on my feet, i came upon this verse even though it was totally out of context: "Surely God is my help, the Lord is the one who sustains me." from somewhere in Psalms. Surely God pulled me through the run and gave me strength.
I want to share something i read up on during my quiet time as well. Its from the book Cultivating Your Inner life by Edmund Chan. This guy mentions that our inner life has at least five dimensions mainly: Our inner compulsions, convictions, conscience, compass and composure.
To me, inner life is something people don't see. Something under the surface and hidden in each and every one of us. However, today i shall share about compulsions. He mentions that if left unchecked our negative compulsions would fuel our self destructive behavior. I think its rather true in a sense that our compulsions come from our feelings and emotions. Be it selfishness or hate, simple provocations by people that we dislike can simply force us to have such negative compulsions. Knowing this, I know I have some anger issues like seriously. I choke up all these bitterness and harshness inside of me before i blow up like a volcano. However, i tend to forget to seek god in these moments of temporary anger. Knowing this I am still trying my bestest to seek him whenever such events occur so that i do not hurt friendships with friends and family members. I believe that compulsions are an important part of our lives. Sometimes driven by fear or aspirations we tend to make decisions and do things that are not appropriate. Everyone has compulsions. But the He says: "My farce is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." We are only human. Let us rely on God to over come all these compulsions we have as we know he would always be there to guide us and love us :)
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Let us be reminded of his plans for us always and that he is always by our sides no matter what and ready to hear our prayers if any.
Have a great week all~!
Jared
